0th Time (Solitude)

from Volume I: Until Tomorrow by Adam Angel

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lyrics

Japanese translation: https://www.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Adam-Angel-2/0th-Time-Solitude/translation/japanese

How many times had I thought
That my life wasn't worth living?
When a dreary boredom was so commonplace

And how many times was I hurt
By the selfishness of others?
Till one day I couldn't tell apart the
New scars from the old


They all told me the same thing
Empty praise for how I seem so cheerful

What a wonderful success
They can't see the walls I built
My true self is safe from them
Safe from them, Safe from them

Safe from them


How many times was a lie
At the root of a connection
Till relationships were weeds I couldn't pull

So much of me had been faked
Down to every worthless detail
Till the character I played erased the person I once was


You should all just disappear, you should all just disappear
You should all just disappear
Disappear, disappear
Disappear


An ordinary day, in a passive haze
When a feeling that I've tried to hide
Crept into my mind, slowly grew in size
And the word for it soon crystallized


Spilling out of me, filling empty space
Extending the walls I put up
Until what I placed turned into a maze
With no paths between me and them



Panic struck me all at once
Crushing my chest, squashing my heart
I couldnt seem to breathe
I couldnt seem to breathe

I no longer could recognize
The world presented by my eyes
I couldn't seem to see
I couldn't seem to see

Smothered by the dark's embrace
Not knowing whether I exist
Desperate for somebody to help me

And that's when someone noticed me
But all they asked was why I was smiling
I felt my face in disbelief
The mask I wore had frozen it entirely, entirely

Then one by one the others who
Surrounded me each turned into
Transparent bodies made of glass
My world had come apart

I left without saying a thing
Ready to end the farce I live
'Cause my fictitious life has no one left in it

I rejected them all, rejected them all
Rejected them all, rejected them all



"Excuse me, are you alright?"
Said someone who followed me
The world returned to my eyes
As I turned to look their way

"You're always trying so hard
To be cheerful, but I think
That your true self is in pain
From a loneliness you feel"

Those few words had voiced my burden
Better than I could myself
And maybe I'm naive or foolish
Or just wanted a reason to live

But I fell in love


Then came someone with no face
And with such charisma they said
"Do you have a wish?"

Knowing there isn't a way
I answer, soaked in blood and rain
"I don't want any regrets"

credits

from Volume I: Until Tomorrow, released August 28, 2021

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Adam Angel New York, New York

A progressive rock musician with a symphonic, piano-heavy lean.

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